The one question I hate the most!

Yay me!  I have decided to try blogging again.  I miss it.  It was a good way for me to brag about my kids, educate, an out for me, and a great way for me to journal and talk about the things that bug me.  Which is where this post is going to go; something...err a specific set of questions that have really been rubbing me the wrong way.  If I offend you, the follower (if I have any more... wink wink), I don't know what to say, because this is my opinion.

On with the reason for this post.

As a lot of people know, I am a Mormon.  I am very proud of it.  I am proud of the life I live, the beliefs we have.  It is who I am.  Lately however, it has been on my mind.  Not because I'm not living how I was raised, or how we are supposed to live.  No, I don't have any WOW issues.  However, I am bugged with the constant question of,  "Are you going to be to church on Sunday?" or "What can we do to get you to church?".  I know the people who are asking, are asking because they care.  But really?  I am so tired of repeating myself.  Please understand it has NOTHING to do with you (the person asking), or the church, or the ward.  Let me explain it to you:

Getting up on Sunday, rushing to get ready and out the door to go to sacrament meeting isn't an easy feat in our home.  It just isn't.  You see, I have two kids with special needs.  One of those kids has an ASD or Autism Spectrum Disorder, more specifically, he has Asperger's Syndrome (AS).  Most kids with an ASD and/or AS have huge issues when pulling them from their schedule.  We do things a certain way every. single. day. not because we want to but because we have to.  Sunday is one day out of the whole week.  Church is one day out of the whole week; 3 hours out of that day.  But what you don't realize, he does certain things at certain times.  To pull him away from that, to uproot him, it's like we are ripping his whole world apart.  It's more than the child who just doesn't want to do something.  It is more than a battle.  When we have to pull him from his schedule, his whole world has been turned upside down.  I know what you are saying, "It's only 3 hours out of the day!", but really, it's so much more than just "3 hours out of the day".  For aspie kids, it's tears, it's frustration, it's not understanding even though we have explained it over and over, it's more tears, it's heartache, we are taking them away from something they hold very near and dear to their heart.

Not only do we have issues from pulling him away from his schedule, we also have sensory issues.  What most of us don't hear, he has overly sensitive senses and some sounds set him off, or for a better explanation, makes him stim.  If there are florescent lights in the building, the hum from those lights will set him off.  If he has to sit for long periods of time, he will react because other senses aren't being met.  "But what about school?" you ask.  School is a completely different setting where he has people that work with him from the time he steps on the bus to the time he steps off the bus to come home.  Can you give him that?  Can you give him someone who can sit right next to him to help him?  Can you give him someone who has the training needed to help him understand?  Not trying to be rude, but probably not.

Winter months are months that I almost refuse to go to church.  Not because I want to.  Trust me, if I could be there, I would.  If it were easy for me to be there, I would be there.  You see, church is a cesspool full of yucky, sicky germs.  That kid in the nursery has snot caked to his face, another kid has snot dripping down his chin.  Oh and another kid is coughing like a dolphin.  No, thank you!  I cannot put my child with already compromised lungs around that.  You see, if the kid with the snot dripping down his chin has played with a toy my child is now playing with, or the kid coughing like a dolphin coughs on my child, it is a for sure hospital stay for him.  A hospital stay with the works; IV probably in the head because his other veins are so shallow, high-flow oxygen, breathing treatments around the clock, and other meds in the IV to help open his airways.  You see, because of his dwarfism, his airways are already constricted, which puts him at a higher risk for catching respiratory infections even greater.

Not only are his airways constricted, but he is more fragile than most kids.  If he gets pushed down, he is at a greater risk for injury to his tailbone, or his already fragile spine due to kyphosis and spinal stenosis.  Or if a kid hits him on the head with a toy that my kid was playing with, but the other kid wanted, it could put pressure on his ventricles, causing issues with his hydrocephalus.  Yes, I know these things happen because I have worked in the nursery.  I did it for 5+ years in other wards.

You see, these are VERY REAL, VERY VALID concerns.  Concerns that I can't just push to the back of my mind.  When Sunday rolls around every week, I would love to come and get my spiritual recharge for the week.  I would love to come and partake of the sacrament.  I would.  But you see, it isn't all that easy.  I have talked to the Bishop about these concerns many times.  He is understanding.  He validates my concerns.  He knows first hand why it's so hard because of his profession.  Just because I am not there, just because I don't go to church in the winter months, it doesn't make me any less of a person.  I am still me.  I am still a human being.  I am still a good person.  I still have feelings.  Please, next time you think to ask me why I not there, or why I don't go, wouldn't a better thing to say be, "We missed you on Sunday!" and tell me about the lessons or about what I missed.

That is all I ask...

Backyard Camp-out with Cousins

On April 27-28, 2013,

we invited Zane's brother over with his trailer

and had a fun little camp-out in our backyard.

Hunter and Paizlei LOVED it!

They were able to play with their cousins

and pretend they were camping!

They played with all their fun camping toys

and games.

The only thing that was missing was the lakes for fishing

and the 4-wheelers.

The night they camped out,

Zane's Mom and other Dad came over

and we had a fun little BBQ

and Grandpa Burke made his yummy peach cobbler

in the dutch oven.

 The Vincent boy cousins (minus Cooper) and their boots!

 My Hunter playing monster trucks!

I love that cars are his favorite thing to play, even as he is getting older.

 We had to try cousin Kanyon's cowboy hat on Coopie. 

Although it was super cute, he didn't think so.  

 All 4 of the Vincent boy cousins!

 Doing what boys do best: Playing in the DIRT and ROCKS!

 All the Vincent boy cousins and the one and only Vincent girl cousin!

 Popsicle time from Uncle Travis!

 Sweet cousin Kanyon!

More monster trucks with Hunter!

My Big Helpers

On April 26, 2013,

Hunter and Paizlei decided they would

help me by rinsing off and loading the dishes in the dishwasher.

Rinsing, they did a FABULOUS job!

Loading the dishwasher, not so much!

Unfortunately, I didn't get a picture of the dishwasher

when they were done,

but picture all the dishes on the bottom rack

all thrown in,

no order,

no way for them to get clean.

But,

they help me

and that is what is most important.

Our First Soccer Game

I was so excited this year when I heard about the local little kids soccer league,

I jumped at the chance to sign Hunter & Paizlei up.

They both ended up being on the same team,

which was nice because we didn't have to chase all over and split up to watch them.

Their first soccer game was on April 20, 2013.

Hunter had an absolute ball playing!

He loved it!

There was a couple of times where he came to where I was sitting,

and sat down and told me he was tired.

I'm sure he was.

He played really hard.

Did a lot of running.

Paizlei on the other hand,

she didn't quite understand it all and didn't really want to get involved.

As long as Hunter was right there by her, 

she was more than willing to play.

 Hunter was an AWESOME goalie!  And, the shin guards...yeah, that was my fault!  I had NO CLUE what I was doing getting the kids ready for the game!

Cute Nathan was telling Paizlei that she needed to kick the ball.  She had no clue what she was doing. 

The kid in the pink shirt, was the ref!   A little young, don't ya think?

 LOVE the look on P's face!  Priceless!

 Hunter was so excited to play! 

 Hunter is #3, Paizlei is #2.  It was comical!  The kids would follow the ball around in a big cluster.  I couldn't help but laugh watching!  They were so cute!

 Way to kick that ball, my Hunter!!!!

Of course, they don't keep score, because the kids are too little, but Hunter scored once!  It was pretty fun to watch him and see how excited he was when he realized what he did!

Hunter-isms

Before I forget these hilarious Hunter-isms, I better document them. 

So, we have issues with those pesky sugar ants, both inside and outside our home. When we have issues, I tell Zane we have an ant infestation that needs to be taken care of. One afternoon, Hunter came in and told me, 

"Mommy!  Hurry!  We have an ANT INFECTION on the front lawn!"  

I about wet my pants laughing, it was so cute and he was so serious!  

Another Hunter-ism, he is working on sounding out words...to him, he is spelling the words. One afternoon while in the car, he says, 

"Mommy, I know how to spell shit!  See, sh i t!  Shit! 

Not that I like my kids cussing or saying bad words, it was too funny!

Awe...I love me my Hunter!

Happy Birthday, Cooper!

Seriously,

where did the last year go?

I cannot believe you are already one,

Little Man!

You have brought so much 

joy,

love,

and laughter

to our little family.

I LOVE you as BIG as the sky!!!

Teaching Him

As I lay in bed tonight, I am struggling with something that has been going on for a while now. Something that is so unfair. Something I am having a difficult time trying to figure out how to explain to my 6 year old. I lay here in tears trying to figure it out in my mind. Fighting with myself on the right and wrong way to teach him, or help him understand. You see, the last little while, Hunter has wanted a friend from school to come home after school and play. I make arrangements with parents. The day comes when I pick Hunter up from school, and I'm supposed to (or so I think, according to arrangements made) bring his little friend home for a play date. I walk to the classroom to pick up Hunter and one of his friends, only to find out his friends parents never sent a note to school to let the friend be released to me. Hunter is heartbroken. He cries all the way home. Comes home, goes down to his room, lays on his bed and cries some more. I try so hard to explain to him in terms I think he can understand. He finally calms down after about 45 minutes or so.  Once I get my sweet boy calmed down, I try to text or email his friends Mom, to which I either get no answer, or the same, "Oh my gosh!  I totally forgot!"

When talking to one of the two Moms of kids in his class, I found out that 4 of the Moms don't want their kids playing with Hunter. I was beside myself. When talking to Hunter, I ask him if he plays with these kids he wants to come over, at recess. He always tells me "Yes!", and goes on to tell me what they play at school.

After asking one of the kids Mom's 3 times, and all 3 times, she "forgets", I finally asked her what was up, why she keeps putting off sending her child home to play with Hunter. She says she doesn't want her child playing with Hunter because he is so wild and she doesn't want he child coming home and acting out because her child played with Hunter. What?!?!  I tried asking her how she knows her child is going to act out when he has never played with Hunter. Of course, she doesn't have an answer. 

Struggling. Hurt. Sad. Anger.  Frustration. Just some of the emotions I am fighting over this.

It's so hard to explain something to your child who has a difficult time understanding things, when you don't understand it yourself. The fact is, this world is a cruel, mean, awful, BIG world. And, although I want to keep my child from getting hurt, from being treated unfair, from mean, rude, awful people, I realize I can't shield him from it. The best ad only thing I can do, is teach him. Explain how some people are just afraid. That some people just don't understand. But that's just it!!!!  I have NO CLUE HOW to teach him these things. I have no idea how to explain these things to him.

It's heartbreaking. 

It's unfair.

It's not right. 

He's only 6.

ALL he wants, is to have a play date.  Where is the harm in that?

Until I am able to find that answer/answers I am searching for, I will keep encouraging him to ask his friends to play. I will keep encouraging him to befriend everyone. To treat everyone with respect. To treat everyone how he wants to be treated. 

I will teach him to ALWAYS be him.  Because look at him, he is SO worth having that friend. He is SO worth being treated with respect. he is SO worth their friendship. My Hunter is one of the most tender-hearted, sweet, kind, loving, friendly, honest kids I know. 

My promise to you, my Hunter, is to keep searching for the right answer/answers. To love you unconditionally. I will NEVER treat you any different. I LOVE you as BIG AS THE SKY, my buddy!!!  

Easter 2013

Easter 2013 was a little different for us this year.  It was Cooper's first Easter, and Hunter got to go camping with his Grandma & Grandpa Black (Zane's Mom & other Dad),  and his uncle Travis, aunt Shaunna, & cousins Bridger & Kanyon.  It was definitely different not having my Hunter with us, but I know he was having the time of his life camping in the desert.

We started off our Easter by going to the Easter Egg Hunt here in Gunnison, bright and early Saturday morning (3/30/2013).  Paizlei had a ball!  This year she wasn't afraid to get out there and get those eggs, candy and treats that were strewn all over the grass at the park.  Past years, we have FROZE going to the egg hunt, this year wasn't too bad.

Saturday afternoon, after Coop woke up from his nap, we colored and decorated our Easter eggs.  Paizlei was in Heaven!  Anything crafty or creative, she is all for it, on top of it, ENJOYING it!  Even our Little Man got into it...he decided he wanted to take a taste of an egg!  Silly boy!  As we were coloring them, I kept thinking how strange it was without Hunter home.  It was different.

On Sunday, Paizlei woke up and came into our room and woke Zane and I up and told us there was something out on the couch and that we needed to get up so we could go see it.  She was so cute.  So confused.  So excited.  We didn't go all out this year.  Hunter & Paizlei pretty much got the same stuff in their baskets.  Coop got a couple books, 2 outfits, and some bath toys.

 

We Want Spring

Not sure about anyone else,

but we are tired of winter!

We are SO ready for spring!

On one of the days last week

when it was somewhat warm,

and Daddy had to work late,

the kids and I went outside to play a little

bit after dinner.

We played boomerangs,

played in the sand with cars and trucks,

threw rocks in the field next door,

played with Cooper,

and drew with chalk.

Hunter is such an active little boy,

it's really hard to get him to sit still,

so the sidewalk chalk wasn't quite what he wanted.

He is happier playing in the sand,

getting dirty,

running all over the yard chasing the boomerang.

Paizlei, on the other hand,

this little girl LOVES to

draw,

color,

write,

cut,

explore her artistic abilities.

Somehow,

in between making sure Cooper didn't put any

rocks or yuckies off the ground in his mouth,

throwing boomerangs,

and drawing with sidewalk chalk,

I was able to spend equal time with all 3 of my little munchkins.

 

Perspective

I posted this a few weeks ago on Facebook

because I thought it was a neat and informative

perspective of just HOW small Cooper is.

The clothes on the left are size newborn,

the size that Cooper is currently in.

The clothes on the right are a size 9 months,

the size Cooper would most likely be in

if he was an averaged height baby.

Crazy to see the perspective, right?

Another perspective,

The picture on the left is Cooper at 7 days old,

and in preemie clothes, 

which were too big for him.

The picture on the right is Cooper at 9 months old,

and in newborn clothes,

which are still a little too big for him.

I LOVE every inch of his "Little"-ness.

I love that he has Achondroplasia,

the most common form of Dwarfism.

I wouldn't change ANY OF IT

for the world!

"A persons a person, no matter how small!"

                                                             Dr. Seuss